Dumbest Things Ever Heard

 I’ll post only the 11 (in my opinion) funniest and most outrageous ”quotable quotes” ever heard.

Taken (without permission – sorry Chico!) from Chico Garcia’s Blog, where you can read the full list.

1. In Wowowee, the question was: “Kung ang ’sigaw’ ay ’shout’ sa Inggles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang ‘whisper’?” The contestant answered: “Napkin!”
2. My cousin at a DRIVE-THRU: “Miss, puwedeng take out?”

3. My friend said: “Ang galing ‘no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!”

4. Also in a gameshow. Host: “Ano sa Tagalog ang ‘teeth’?” Contestant: “Utong!”

5. An officemate of ours told us a story about driving alone in her car: “Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko…wala akong kasama…”
6. I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks: “One cup of chino please.”

7. An officemate once asked: “Saan sa Quezon City ang Mandaluyong?”
8. When I saw that I got a missed call, I said, “Hey, I got a missed call!” My friend said, “Anong sabi?”
9. A call center agent told a foreign customer regarding the changing of the due date of her credit card: “Ma’am, I already changed your monthly period.”
10. During a shower party for my friend, the married women were giving tips on the do’s & dont’s of sexual intercourse, when the bride asked: “Hindi ba kasama yung betlog sa pinapasok?”
11. Melanie Marquez: “Ang tatay ko lang ang only living legend na buhay pa.”